It seems like clockwork I'm doing this thing where even thinking about blogging makes me cringe, which seems to directly contribute to the fact I haven't done it regularly in a very long time. The self-absorbed egomaniacal genre of "lifestyle" blogging I generally partake in is irritating to me when I see others doing it, so I generally choose not to write up a post. Most bloggers are generally annoying to be around, and with the birth of new mediums of blogging since the beginning of blogging time it is a dying form. So here I am spewing vitriol about a group of people who hate everything, being one of them, listening to Bruno Mars spinning on the turn table, coming to the realization I'm one of them—a douchebag. I've closed this laptop about 4 or 5 times in denial. Blogging is a battle of wills.
I guess I'm writing this as a coming out story of sorts, one where I come to the realization that I like this part of me and I want to keep it happening—regardless of the self loathing associated with it. So, to get to the fucking point, I want to talk about where I've been and where I'm going.
Last year can be summed up as overwhelming. I went through my first full year being employed full time, successfully got my current position...twice (a long story for a different day) and interviewed in between for a different one which, at least, nobody was hired for.
Last year was also the first full year where Levi and I focused on his business. We have streamlined his suppliers, cut out the waste and made drastic changes to his product to increase quality and production efficiency...also we're now mostly legit. Did I mention I am the IT department? Levi last year left his full time job to focus on his business when it became so wildly successful that he had to choose between them. While running a business never gets easy, we are in a good place right now and we can eat dinner together every night. Last year, during the peak of him working his job and his business, we spent $3k in one month on food eating out—there was no other option, we just weren't home to cook. We became unhealthy. I personally reached a weight I haven't seen in over 6 years, and our mental health suffered from being in "go" all of the time.
Last year I learned that worrying about everything isn't the way to succeed and you can take risks and be happier for them. We took a big risk when Levi chose to leave his job, to me it probably felt like a bigger risk, let's be honest: Levi doesn't think about what could happen, he is always focused on what he knows will happen—I'm better for it.
So, where are we going? We are both focusing on careers this year, moving ourselves forward and preparing for changes to the family. I am going to focus on doing more, moving more, acquiring less and being cleaner. (I'm looking at you guest bedroom full of junk.) Vacations are going to happen this year. Maybe more blogging will happen this year.