It’s raining. The misty stuff that makes you and everything you’re wearing feel dirty as it turns the dust in the air into mud. It’s dark and gloomy and muggy and comforting—fall is coming and I’m anxious. My husband will be coming home soon, and with him comes change. I’ve never been one to welcome change. In the immediate future, an apartment change, as well as a mortgage are looming. Can I handle it, can my marriage? The thoughts aren’t healthy but they’re here.

I realize that life is never as bad as I make it out to be, and I try to keep calm knowing this but there are always those thoughts lingering.

“What could go wrong? Everything.”

I need to get a grip, grab onto my life and direct it where I need to go instead of floundering like I’m so used to doing—like I’ve been doing for years.