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Google is an asshole.

Periodically I look through my spam folder to see if Google has gotten a little crazy about what it deems spam. Usually it isn’t a big deal, the spam filter is pretty good about catching the things I really don’t want to read. Things like messages from Adobe, trying to sell me monthly access to their creative cloud, or messages from the American Kennel Club wishing Dangbat’s Megatron a happy birthday—that bitch just turned one—whilst trying to sell me a health care plan for my dog. (All while wishing her a life full of future happy birthdays—because if I don’t buy the health insurance my dog will die.)

But…sometimes Google goes too far. Like when it chose not to send this gem to my inbox:

I've never felt so honored in my life, Mountain Slut! Thank you for giving me this opportunity.

I’ve never felt so honored in my life, Mountain Slut! Thank you for giving me this opportunity. xoxo Cowboy

What was Google thinking?! This poor mountain slut wants to know what I think about the photos of her and her hottest friend! Why wouldn’t Google want me to view them?

I think Google is jealous.

{ 10 comments… add one }

  • Shane Curtis February 14, 2013, 4:05 pm

    Oh yeah I would say it’s the jealousy thing too.

  • Punky Coletta February 14, 2013, 4:27 pm
  • Terrye February 14, 2013, 8:33 pm

    Yep, Google is a fickle lover. Now that you found out about the mountain sluts, you never said whether or not you were going to take them up on their offer. ;)

    Terrye recently posted…Valentine’s Day 2013My Profile

  • Daniel Nest February 15, 2013, 4:48 am

    I think you have it all wrong! I think Google is the friend Mountain Slut mentions in the message. Google is just embarrassed of all the naughty stuff it’s been caught doing on the pictures…so come on, dude, give Google some privacy – you know, just how Google gives you yours!

    Daniel Nest recently posted…Nest Digest: “Fear Edition – Wolves & Math”My Profile

  • WilyGuy February 16, 2013, 6:19 am

    I always forget to check the spam folder…
    Then when I do, it’s captured about 700 messages and at that point, I’m not looking at all of them. So I click delete all and pray that mountain slut has not added new photos.

    WG

    WilyGuy recently posted…Hope, Loves All ThingsMy Profile

  • Bryan Jones February 17, 2013, 12:43 pm

    Think yourself lucky. You get spam suggesting you’d be interested in pictures of naked young females. At 54-years-old, most of my spam is offering me Viagra to give my manhood a boost!

  • Ken February 18, 2013, 8:22 am

    Hello Cowboy!

    I don’t now about you, but mountain sluts in the woods don’t really conjure up images in my mind that are very appealing? I don’t think there’s a lot of bathing going on in the woods?

    Ken recently posted…#143. or, NothingMy Profile

  • Youngman Brown February 19, 2013, 3:08 am

    I love how she just hits you with the whole “being naked” thing at the very end.

    But she hit you with the grammatical atrocities right away.

    Youngman Brown recently posted…The Great DivideMy Profile

  • Amy March 19, 2013, 11:20 am

    Is it just me, or are you especially angry these days?
    Sounds like Google is doing a bang up job on your email and should be showered with love and affection, not insults.
    I swear impactful is a word.. no matter how much Google says otherwise.

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