At least two of my readers were disappointed that I wasn’t actually not wearing pants in my last entry. (Fuck grammar, y’all.) I am not sure if I should appease them by posting an actual photo of me not wearing pants, or if I should leave the pants on. That last sentence is a lie, the pants are staying on for photos. (No, seriously. Though if it’s any consolation I regularly don’t wear pants while blogging. It’s kind of my thing. OK, that one isn’t true either. Or…is it? You’ll never know, I’m full of lies tonight. I may, or may not, be wearing pants—or in the spirit of that first sentence, I may not, or may, be not wearing pants. Figure that one out on your own.)
I hope that last paragraph was enough to distract you all from the fact that literally all I did today was drink various forms of chai tea and drive around. The tea made it so that I didn’t die from falling asleep behind the wheel because last night I stayed up until 3 in the morning because I was watching Netflix all night and almost all morning because I like watching it. That’s not as bad as the night before when I stayed up until 4 in the morning playing Mario because there was this one level that I just had to beat because I had seen the flag and it literally took me 90 fucking lives—and a restart so I could get all of my lives back—to finally beat it. When I finally did beat it, it opened up a path the the same damned mushroom house we had already unlocked. I get all twitchy and angry when I hear that god awful noise that Mario makes when he dies. Want to see me rage? Make that your ringtone.
P.S. I’ve since collected two of those damned star coins from that level.
P.P.S. I’m bitter.