Deer. Deer all over everything.

So, I needed to have at least one “on the road” blog entry, and this one is it. Now, let’s begin.

Deer. That’s right, deer. This entry is about deer. We have probably seen about 50 deer so far, and only one of them was alive. You see, deer are very sad so they run in front of cars to commit horrible deer suicides.

How do I know this? I’m sort of a deer expert. They wouldn’t be so horrible, these deer suicides, except for the fact that deer don’t just die when they commit suicide.

They fucking explode.

Deer are like giant sad fireworks, except instead of fireballs, they’re filled with blood. Blood that gets all over everything.

The smart states have realized that they can use their weird red dirt to disguise their sad deer massacre blood. Unfortunately, they haven’t all figured this out so many areas of most states look like somebody has dropped giant watermelons on the highway. Except they’re not watermelons. They’re deer, and their blood.

You’re probably sad now.

Stephen Battey

Stephen is a 25 year old amateur photographer, blogger, and husband from Tacoma, Washington. He shares a cute ass house with his husband, cat, and two dogs. He generally hates all weather patterns.

Tacoma, WA