Flossing.

Since my blog has become a hub of sadness wrapped in awkward mentions of animal feces lately, I was hoping I could rid this place of that awkward sadness with this entry. Whether or not laughs are had, will be found out at the end I suppose. Here we go…

I have dental floss suck in my teeth. Well, in between my teeth I should say.

You see, I have a tiny mouth — much to my dismay, and very contrary to what my mother might tell you. My tiny mouth in combination with my very normal sized teeth — OK, maybe even slightly larger than “normal sized” teeth — means that flossing, for me, is a constant struggle between mild frustration and a complete hatred of the act of flossing. I don’t think there is anything more frustrating — at least in regards to dental hygiene — then when your floss breaks while trying to get it in between your teeth. I’m not talking about floss that has already ventured into the crevices of some teeth already, I’m talking about fresh floss. Floss right out of the awkward plastic floss container. (Who thought of that design anyway? How am I supposed to know that I’m out of floss if I can’t see the fucking floss?! It’s a conspiracy guys, I know it.)

Right now, I have a tiny amount of floss stuck in between my teeth, that I can’t get out. Why can’t I get it out? Because when I try, I get even more floss stuck in there. This doesn’t happen every time, but I think it’s getting worse. I think my wisdom teeth are pushing on my allegedly less intelligent teeth, probably because they aren’t as wise as they think they are and are hoping to push the other teeth out before they find out the wisdom teeth are actually a sham. (They, too, can probably be blamed for my steady increase in migraine frequency, which seems to happen every time I think about migraines. Wisdom teeth should just be called asshole teeth, because that’s what they are, but thats kind of gross because they are in your mouth.)

In other news, I’m watching Slayers on Netflix which has done nothing but confirm how gay I am with all of the gratuitous boob shots. All I can think when they happen is how I am probably not the right audience for this particular anime. At this point I am already committed, there is only one episode left in this first season. Which means I’ll probably be stuck watching the next one.

My life is super exciting, and you’re all jealous.

Stephen Battey

Stephen Battey

Stephen is a 25 year old amateur photographer, blogger, and husband from Tacoma, Washington. He shares a cute ass house with his husband, cat, and two dogs. He generally hates all weather patterns.

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