In my previous post, I never meant to imply that my parents don’t want the best for me, and as such it shouldn’t have been taken that way. I do have great parents, and while it is true they will always want me to be making more money they definitely did not make any decisions for me. I made the decisions to transfer to another school, and attempt to become a nurse — not my parents. While their reasoning did affect my decisions it did not make my decisions for me. To some people, it seemed that this was the case, and it wasn’t.
Never have I felt that my parents made my decisions for me. What I do feel is that I made my decisions for the wrong reasons, and with the wrong people in mind. In the post in question, this was stated though I did not dwell on it long enough — being to caught up in a rant I failed to make myself clear.
The truth is, I have great parents who mean well. They are supportive but can be very protective of their children at times which is normally a good quality to have. Sometimes these qualities conflict with each other and can lead to immediate fear of a situation instead of calm reflection.
The point that I failed to make clear is that my parents care about me and only want the best for me. I admit that in my rant I went to far and said some things I shouldn’t have that caused the post to seem like an attack on others instead of a venting of my frustrations with myself like it was meant to be. I am not frustrated with my parents for suggesting I become a nurse, and getting frustrated and scared when I told them I didn’t want to do it anymore — I understand their fear. I also understand why they are afraid for me to spend so much money on my education. I am frustrated with myself for making decisions for the wrong reasons.
With that, I have taken the offending post down while I make some edits. While I don’t usually believe in altering a blog entry, I feel I have a good reason to do so in this case. I am going to remove the stuff that shouldn’t have been there to begin with, because some of the things I said were hurtful and they made most of the other things I said seem like I was blaming others when I don’t blame them at all. In the end, I am the idiot who didn’t listen to myself and what my needs were and I have paid the price.