1,028 words, in which I admit I'm unhappy.
I was going to blog yesterday, and the day before, but events in my life prevented me from doing so. On Friday Levi and I went out with some friends, so that was a no-go and then Saturday evening we were just generally preoccupied with other things so I didn’t get around to it. (“Other things” included some bitchy arguments, which are all settled at this point. We are human too, we get into fights.)
At this moment, I am having to make a decision about what I want to blog about, I have two choices. Option number one — the least offensive — is to blog about my opinion on paid blogging — sponsored posts — and some other things on that subject. So as not to spoil anything, I won’t reveal that opinion just yet — just know that it is a fabulous opinion that everybody should share with me because I’m just that awesome. So naturally that sentence would lead you to assume that I am blogging about option two tonight — the option I’ve yet to tell you about. Option two is also an opinion piece of sorts, but my opinion on it might — it has in the past — but it’s fresh in my head right now so I feel that I need to get it out. What I’m going to be blogging about tonight is my future.
As you probably know, I’ve been a pre-nursing student at a local community college for the last three years. The year prior to that I was a prospective English major at Central Washington University. I transferred out of Central Washington University because of the way things were going in my life at the time. While there, I met a bunch of great people including my husband Levi and the best friends I’ve ever had — it was probably the best year of my life — but it cost a lot of money. (Almost $15,000.) Since then, I’ve been chasing somebody else’s dream for me and not my own. A part of my decision to transfer out of CWU was so that I could be closer to Levi, as our relationship was not strong enough at the time to survive the distance for much longer than we had already done. (3 months.) The other reason for me transferring was because I knew my parents were not very happy with how much money it was costing to go to CWU, my father more so than my mother. In his mind it cost way too much and I was going to be making way too little in the end being an English teacher. In an effort to make them feel better I made a decision that wasn’t the best for me at the time.
The solution to my problems was for me to transfer to a community college and pursue nursing because “they’ll always need nurses and nurses make tons of money and can work anywhere they want.” Unfortunately, none of that last statement is true anymore. The job market for nurses isn’t what it used to be, for the first time in years the job market for nurses has produced less jobs than the amount of students exiting nursing programs. Hospitals are cutting budgets because they’re losing funding, and they aren’t hiring the same amount of nurses they used to hire. Also, the huge rush to work in the nursing field because of the money drove a huge amount of people to it which has basically filled the demand for nurses. The driving logic for this rush was that “the baby boomers are retiring and are starting to need excess medical care.” What retirement really means is they’re getting closer to death. Once they’re all gone the health care industry is going to have too many positions filled which will likely lead to layoffs as well as no new jobs. It is pretty morbid to say that baby boomers dying directly influences the job market for nurses, but it does. Hospitals need business to operate, and their business is living people. When people start dying, they need more living people to be produced to continue to grow. People aren’t reproducing like they used to, so the prospect for nursing is dismal.
Sure, at the moment there is an inflated need for nurses but once that bubble bursts becoming a nurse is going to be a stupid career move for somebody who doesn’t want to be a nurse. A two year associates program that makes you eligible to make upwards of $30 per hour starting out is, by definition, extremely competitive. I feel that nursing is going to end up the way of the medical assisting field where schools will be pumping out hundreds of nurses every 3 months with absolutely zero new jobs for them. This decline is already happening, which leads me to my next point.
I never wanted to become a nurse. I wanted to teach English. I don’t care about the money. I want to make enough money to pay my bills and live a comfortable life. I don’t want a big house, a fancy car or a lavish lifestyle. Those things would be nice, but I am in no way motivated to have them. I like nice things, don’t get me wrong, and when I am able to have nice things I treat myself to them — but I have no problem saving for them.
It is understandable that my parents want the best for me, but it’s time that they understand that I can never be happy working graveyards in a hospital watching people die. I’m just not the right person for that type of work. With that, I should state that I’m done making decisions in my life to make other people feel more secure. I need to start making focusing on myself. This is my life I’m living and I need to do what makes me happy, and not what makes everyone in my life feel better. If that means that I graduate from college with a mountain of debt and a certificate that says I will only make $30,000 a year, so be it.
You can’t put a price on happy.