Holy crap. Thats about all I can say to describe the last 12 hours of my life. Here is a slight warning: This post might not be good to read for those of us that are a bit squeamish.

Yesterday I started to notice some odd white flakes in Megatron’s stool, upon inspection I had just assumed she had eaten something she shouldn’t have — after all, I did find her chewing on an eye glass repair kit two days ago. I kept and eye on her, and she wasn’t exhibiting any odd symptoms so I figured she would be OK. Later that evening, Levi noticed something coming out of her rear that alarmed him, it was a worm! Given the white specks I had seen in her stool earlier in the day, and that it was breaking off, I knew it was a tape worm — you can imagine my disgust at this point, there was a worm crawling out of my dog.

We immediately called a vet, not our vet but a vet. It was pretty late when we called, and I knew that this place was open 24 hours, and while it wasn’t an emergency under normal circumstances, I decided to take her in. Tape worms can sometimes cause a lot of damage to the intestines if they aren’t dealt with, and because Megatron is so small I was concerned — also there were worms crawling out of her…not just coming out…crawling out, I shouldn’t need to explain myself. The vet visit was excellent, and everyone was super friendly there, maybe a little bit too friendly. (Yes, Vet Tech, my dog is adorable but not at this moment when she is dropping parasitic worm eggs all over my house and everything else.) Megatron was seen by the veterinarian who established that it was indeed most likely tape worms, and sent us home with worm medication and a warning that she will likely have worm infested diarrhea for the next few days.

Thoroughly disgusted about the thought of Megatron spreading worm infested feces all over my house, I headed home. When I got home I inspected her usual spots, and found tiny little worm segments all over everything. The worst part? Everything included our bed. That’s right, I have likely been sleeping with parasitic worm parts that crawled out of my dogs anus — just because I can’t leave it be, no I don’t mean my husband. (Love you, babe!) I don’t think it’s overly dramatic to say that I may never feel clean again. If you so choose, I will not feel bad if you ostracize me at this point — I am unclean.

Levi and I chose to sleep on the couch, and confined Megatron to our bed — after all, she couldn’t possibly make the situation in there any worse at this point. I didn’t sleep well that night, because all I could think about was worms crawling all over my body.

This morning I took Bella, our cat, into the vet to get her some deworming drugs too. She didn’t like that even a little bit. She will probably glare at me for the rest of the week, but that won’t be so different from her normal disposition anyway so I think I will survive. I can already feel the scorn radiating out of her body. (The passive-aggression is strong with this one?)

There you have it, hopefully the only blog post I’ll ever have to write about stools.