All day yesterday, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head that I really needed to sit down and blog. It wasn’t until that night that I finally did make the attempt, but nothing that came out seemed good and most of it was negative — so I closed my word processor and went to bed. (Only after spending what must have been an hour working on a new post – Go me!) I guess my problem lately, is that I want to publish meaningful content and not just a day-by-day account of my life — my life isn’t super interesting, so there really is no point in me publishing every little detail. I’m pretty sure that most people don’t care what I had for lunch today, or that I spent my entire day fixing my brother’s computer. (Something I end up doing all of the time, it seems.)

My problem with producing meaningful content, is that I never know what constitutes meaningful. When I do find something I want to blog about that seems meaningful, I usually don’t for fear of sounding stupid if I get something incorrect. There isn’t much in this world that I am well informed about. I think this is mostly because I get confused really easily when reading about current events. For example, I am aware of the events that are happening in the world, but I am not versed enough on them to discuss them here. (And to be honest, I don’t always care enough about current events to become well educated on them.)

Perhaps instead of sitting down in front of my computer and blindly typing, I ought to brain storm and think about topics beforehand. This could be a solution to my problems, if I sit down and think about topics that I am educated enough to blog about I might not suffer from the writer’s block I usually have. Off of the top of my head, there isn’t much that I can think of that I know a lot about. I know a lot about myself, the issues surrounding homosexuality, and some other crazy liberal things — but is that where I want my blog to go? Perhaps I could blog about my life, and growing up as a gay person — but does the internet need any more of those types of stories? While my stories would be mostly positive, I would be in front about some of the negative stories, and the impact those might have on individuals who were still questioning themselves. Perhaps, those types of stories are exactly what those people need?

Maybe I am naive to think that anything I publish here would make a difference anyway. After all, my life isn’t really that remarkable anyway. And if I do decide to blog about these topics, what do I leave out? There are certainly things that I don’t want to share about myself, my emotions being one of them. Unless I am overwhelmed, I tend to keep certain feelings to myself, simply because I fear the judgement that others will pass.

Maybe if I can get over my fear of judgement, I can become a better blogger. These fears have caused me to self-censor many, many times. Self-censorship is probably the worst thing a blogger can do. It results in really boring content.