Over the last few years, my husband Levi has taught me a lot of things about life. Here is a list of 14 of those things.

  1. “Clean it up.” means “Clean it up once and make the same mess again the next day.”
  2. “Clean it up, and stop making this mess.” means “Clean it up for two days, maybe three, and then proceed to make mess again.”
  3. “Because I clean the house.” isn’t a good enough reason for “Clean it up.” until there are tears involved.
  4. Adding additional ingredients to food, after I’ve cooked and served it, doesn’t mean “This food doesn’t taste good.”
  5. It’s OK to get frustrated at me when you’re asked to stop leaving your socks around the house. (Even though I’ve asked you not to do so every day for the last three weeks.)
  6. Eventually I will just give in and clean the socks up myself.
  7. Protein powder belongs all over my kitchen, and not inside of the blender bottle.
  8. In order to ensure maximum kitchen coverage, protein powder must be spilled on the counter when putting it into the blender bottle, and then one must subsequently fail to close the opening properly before shaking the blender bottle.
  9. More money must be spent on protein in a month than is spent on groceries.
  10. When I say “It’s OK if you put my towel on another rack so that your towel can dry.” it really means “Stop letting your towel share the same towel rack as mine when it is wet, because it won’t dry and will start to smell.” and not “Continue putting my towel on the same rack as yours.”
  11. The cats must have the ugliest, loudest, most obnoxiously large toys and cat furniture known to man or they will die. Never mind the fact that they survived thousands of years without these things.
  12. Cats will freeze to death if I turn the heat off in the apartment when nobody is home. Their built in fur coat isn’t real.
  13. Exercise equipment must be visible at all times.
  14. Furniture must be comfortable..even if that means it’s ugly.

I love my husband, even his annoying habits.